Monday, 30 July 2012

Queuing for food at the Olympics.

Sticking with my theme of whinging about whinging (see previous post) I've been spending a lot of energy whinging about people whinging about the Olympics lately. It seems that the brilliant opening ceremony converted most of the stragglers and now only a few miserable bellends remain. A whole nation was waiting to be the first to point out how shit it was and quickly realised that it was in fact the greatest thing of all time.

Maybe it wasn't quite that. Some of it was fairly close to watching the chorus of a big budget musical but put all together I thought it was amazing. Yes it cost a lot of money but it made me happy and I'm not against a small portion of our taxes going towards making us happy. In fact why can't just have a perpetual Olympics? I can think of no logical reason why rowing would not be equally as exciting if it was on telly from now until the end of time.

So now that everyone's converted. Now that we're all settling down to watch the judo. Now that I have professed my evangelical love of the Olympics I think I'm entitled to have a slight moan about it. Just one tiny thing...

Yesterday I went to watch the football at Wembley. I saw two very entertaining games. In between them there was a 50 minute break. I spent that entire time queueing for food which I did not end up getting. I knew the queues were going to be long. I accept that. I'm no fool. I ged it, Wembley, I ged it. I knew that the staff might not be lightening quick. I've been to the O2 Arena and have discovered that the longer a queue, the more time sensitive the situation, the more moronically slow the staff will be. What I didn't anticipate was that after 40 minutes of queuing I would be told that they had ran out of food. Firstly, how do you run out of food? It was as if they were surprised by the rush. Surely they knew that we were coming. Secondly, why did they wait until the very last spicy fucking bean ciabatta had gone to tell the 500 plus people waiting that there was no food?

I then passed the information desk and couldn't help but do an impression of my dad, at Clarks shoe shop in 1989, and complain in an embarrassingly British sort of a way. I was told that, and this is true, the reason for the problems was that 'it's busy because of the Olympics'. This was said as if they were giving me information I might not be aware of. 'Thanks information desk, and what exactly is the O'lympics?'. 'Hang on, I'll see if I can find out'.

We then very foolishly joined another queue and there was an equally irritating situation in which no one covered themselves in glory. I raised my voice like the fat spoilt Westerner that I am and said things like 'It's not acceptable'. The staff slowly span around in circles like they were being operated by a bear who'd just been handed a playstation controller. Safe to say I walked away with no food.

Anyway, like I say, I am well behind these Olympics. Situations like this are not the fault of the Olympics themselves. They are the fault of a system in which seemingly vast swathes of people simply don't give a shit about their job. I have had plenty of shit jobs. I've written a blog about it. It's called 'Shit jobs'. No matter how shit those jobs were I always wanted to do them relatively well. Otherwise what's the point? Anyone who saw my work at the Co-op in the 97-98 season will remember I took pride in reducing long queues. Till workers of Great Britain! This is a rallying call! You may one day find yourself in long queue. Serve with the speed and efficiency with which you would like to be served. Or at least something approaching it. Please.

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