Sunday 17 July 2011

Let kids swear.

Get this! My girlfriend is watching the Crystal Maze. She's foreign (America or Mexico I think) so has no childhood memories of the show. This means that she is able to see past the ridiculous clothes and enjoy it for the puzzles. Yeah, puzzles! My bitch love dem puzzles!

When it comes to the look of the show the Crystal Maze has dated horribly. They're all wearing these brightly coloured yet still somehow faded jumpsuits. Also, every woman seems to have the same permed haircut. At the time of course we didn't notice this. I guess every woman in our lives in 1991 had the same permed haircut and we accepted that as what a woman's hair looked like. By 1996 the Crystal Maze already looked dated. Would a 2006 episode of the Weakest Link look dated to us now? I suspect it would. Just a little bit.

This is my theory. At every stage in time we as a people think we've finally cracked fashion. We think what we're wearing is ridicule proof. But think about what you're wearing now. If a photo is taken, will you be embarrassed about it in 5, 10, 20 years time as you sit in your silver space suit? I am currently in my pants (Calvin Klein, actually) with a blanket over my legs to keep them warm so I'm not sure I fit the experiment. My embarrassment is 'in the now'. But what about the plain brown polo shirt I'm wearing. It's so conservative and 'normal' that surely that won't look odd? It probably will though. They'll be something about the colour and the collar that will be so... 'Oh my God dad! I can't believe you actually fucking wore that!'.

In my vision of the future I have kids and it has become socially acceptable for children to swear. Ah, now there's a point worth side tracking into. Why don't we just let kids swear? If we are personally offended by swearing then fine. But if we ourselves swear all the time and don't really see what's wrong with it then why won't we just let them do it. It's one rule for us and another for them. There's a good reason why parents won't let their kids drink - it'd be too expensive - but why not just let them say 'fuck'? It's a cheap, safe way for them to enjoy themselves. Kids fall off bikes and break their bones all the time. I've never heard of a swearing induced injury. In fact it probably makes them safer. If you were a peodophile (just imagine it, don't do anything) would you go for the kid innocently riding his bicycle or would you go for the one shouting 'fuck off wanker!'.

This video represents what I actually want fatherhood to be like. If you can see past the prejudices about Americans from the South that I imagine my readership has then you might get the heartwarming feeling that I do. I have now watched this video 5 or 6 times but not in a creepy way...

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